|
Have the Writing Gods Forsaken Me? (a/k/a ave HDo I Have Writer’s Block? Do You?)
By Bonita Lee Penn
“I know you didn’t bring me all the way down here, buy me these skimpy bikinis, and you going to be staring at some other bitch all day.” She screamed, as I felt a stone hit me in the back of the head. I turned and was on the verge of slapping the crap out of Carlotta, when, she, walked by. All I could do from having my lips drop down to the hot sand was to stare, she was the most finest woman I’ve seen in a long time. There was something familiar about her, and I’m not talking about them four big azz hood bodyguards following her. She wasn’t no celebrity, as I knew her from the hood. I’ve seen her, but I can’t remember where, or more importantly, in this game, with who.
“Ouch, girl you better stop throwing stones at me, or your azz will be swimming back to Pittsburgh.” I yelled back to Carlotta. . . .
Those are the last words in my manuscript I wrote before the sickness got a hold of me. It's a painful and demoralizing sickness and can be humiliating and worst of all, it doesn't make any sense. I don’t understand, the doctors don’t know the cause; the researchers can’t find a cure. What am I to do? I must complete my manuscript, I need a cure, has anyone found a cure?
Since an antidote has not yet been developed for my sickness, I decided to go the route of self-healing. I placed my list of symptoms in Google, the search came back with more than enough helpful suggestions, when I clicked each they came up with the exact prognosis, I have Writers’ Block.
I was relived to know I wasn’t the only person inflicted with this sickness. Some of you reading this, at this very minute, may have the same sickness. If so, read on, I have pulled several helpful articles dealing with Writer’s Block, they have assisted me back on the road to recovery, I am feeling better, I feel like writing again. By time you read all the articles I’m sure you will be feeling as good as I.
Let’s start from the beginning, the onset of the sickness. One evening I sat down to continue writing my manuscript, at first I thought nothing of it. It’s not unusual for me re-read what I wrote the night before, but this time I was different, I kept re-reading, without writing new pages. I had a feeling something wasn’t right. I went to type in words, my fingers would type letters, then my finger would press repeatedly on the delete key and the page would be empty. I gave up and thought, “Ok, I’m a little tired tonight, tomorrow, I’ll write.” Tomorrow night came, the next night, the next and the next, and the computer screen was still blank. I became even more frustrated, and more angry and then just plain confused. A talented person like myself, a great writer with a vivid imagination, someone who always has words of inspiration for others and now, I can’t find words to help myself?
Pitiful, that must be me, a pitiful writer, no, a wanna-be-writer. I put up a great facade to everyone, but when it comes to backing up my words on paper, I’m a fake. I spent so much time beating myself up, telling myself my writing is not good enough, who wants to read this crap, it’s stupid, it’s not interesting, I’m wasting my time, I’m a fake. To deal with these personal frustrations, I spent my time focusing and assisting other writers. I now lived my dreams through the success of others. Oh, my goodness I’m a failure, the writing gods have forsaken me. Oh, someone please tell me why they have forsaken me? Why Me?
I even turned to a respected pro in our literary field, Terry McMillan. Some friends and I went to see her while she was on tour for her then latest book, “Day Late and a Dollar Short.” I went with the intent on asking her my number one question, Have you ever had Writers Block and if you did, how did you work through it? Q&A time my friend nudged me to put up my hand. I started waving my hand, and waving my hand. It was getting down to the last few questions and I felt all the other questions, were not as important as mine. You know silly non-writer type questions, how did you get your hair like that, where do you go to relax, etc. I swore she looked right at me a couple of times and bypassed me. Ok, you know I’m quick to get the attitude, my friend sensed it and started pointing at me, as I continued to wave my hand, the question I had in mind to ask her, was not my original question, I was gonna say something not so very nice. . . oops she chose me for the last question, she doesn’t know how lucky she was, cause I was about to-- instead I said, “Terry, I have a problem from time to time with Writers Block, have you ever had this happened to you, if you have, how did you work through it?” She looked at me, like she was saying to herself, ooh hard question, then she answered directly to me, “No, I’ve never had writers block, the only time I stopped writing was when my Mother died, that was a time of personal readjustment for me.” Mmm, ok now I am feeling some kind of way, I interrupted her answer to me as a code, what she really said was, real writers don’t get writers block. After that answer from a pro, I felt even more depressed. I felt as though it was true, I’m not a real writer. How can I be a real writer and I’m can’t write everyday? Oh, I’m a failure.
Back to Terry, on the real side I was not believing for one minute she never had writer’s block, she just didn’t want to share her pain with me.
My next step was to get online and network with other writers. I was a member of the writer’s group deGriot Writers and presently a member of the RealSistasWriters (a great group of women and men, I’m giving a Shout-Out to my RealSistas). Each group offered positive feedback and shared their stories on how they dealt with their own personal writer’s block sickness. I’m so happy I surrounded myself with these great writers and friends. I know how hard it is to deal with a sickness which can last from a few days, to a few years and I wouldn’t wish this sickness on any of my talented sisters or brothers. To assist you in a way you won’t wither away waiting for it to naturally end I’m sharing the following articles with you as steps to work through this period. I know you all have a lot of books locked up, waiting to be written, and it’s time for you and me release them.
If you are presently experiencing Writer’s Block or if you want to make sure you don’t’, click on each of the articles below and find your way back to writing. The articles have great ideas to help you with your writer’s block, one such exercise is self-dialogue, this should be easy for me, as I talk to myself all the time, plus I’m a pro, for the reason I can answer my own questions. A lot of people haven’t mastered this art yet. I tried this exercise, all I got was my two egos, battling it out, nothing was accomplished.
On to the next article, it’s all about what NOT to do. I’ve already broken the #1 rule of what not to do, I have done it, over and over. I’m not going to get into it. I’ll let you read it. Remember, I’m in the process of getting to recovery. Let’s move on to the next article.
I can connect with these no-no’s: excessive self-criticism and perfectionism. The curse of the talented. Once you know you're good, it's hard not to think that somehow, in some way you should be better. For real, why would I think my writing has to be perfect? Nothing is perfect. Yuk, I don’t even like the word perfect. I’m going down, I’m going down, I need a helping hand, I need a sponsor to call. I’m dialing 9-1-1. I’m losing faith in the process. They told me it can strike at any time in my writing career, but why so early? It has been explained to me it is sometimes related to misplaced expectations about where I feel I should be in my career or what level of skill I should have achieved by now, but it can also be triggered by more general disillusionments. Twenty years ago, I told everyone I would have my first book published and it a bestseller and I would be living the life of a best selling author, you know the tours, the movie deals, the houses, the vacations, the perks, yeah, general disillusionments. I’m feeling them.
Another explanation for not writing that seems obvious from the outside is physical or mental anguish. Am I crazy? Do I have issues? Am I stressing? You would tend to believe if I was going through some sort of mental or emotional stress, if I threw myself into my work, to escape the pain, oh the pain, it would boost my spirits, but if it didn’t work, it could backfire and make me feel worse. You know what the article says about this-- if you can't write because of pain or sorrow, you may need to concentrate your energies on healing yourself before you can get back into writing. Ok, now I am getting somewhere. I can deal with this explanation. I believe I do have Writers Block, but I know it’s not from the lack of talent, I know the writing gods did not take away my creativity, I’m going through some personal life changes and once I heal, I’ll be back on the road of writing bliss. Now this may not be the reason you are not writing, so click on the articles below and find out what is holding you back from completing your manuscript and becoming and best selling author. I’ll see you on the best seller’s list.
@ by Bonita Lee Penn, All rights reserved.
|
|
